Why – and how – we must combat bi-erasure
A Q&A with Link members:
Maisie McCarthy, Conduct Risk Officer at Beazley and
Alice Jackson, Wordings Lawyer (Specialty Risks) at Beazley
Q: Why is bi visibility still important in this day and age?
Alice: In general, bisexuality is often a misunderstood and highly stereotyped identity. Even within the LGBTQ+ community, there’s still quite a lot of bi-erasure and prejudice.
Maisie: There is historically much more awareness and acceptance of others in the LGBTQ+ community compared with bisexual people. Gay men and lesbian women in particular just seem to be more widely known and understood and feel like they have more legitimacy within the community.
“There are still many unhelpful stereotypes around bisexuality.”
By contrast, there are still many unhelpful stereotypes around bisexuality. Some see it as a passing phase. Some think it’s just indecision, or a lifestyle choice rather than a kind of set identity that you’re born with. Many of these stereotypes really need to be broken or challenged, which is where Bi Visibility Day and Bisexual Awareness Week can be particularly helpful.
Alice: I’ve had conversations with people in the community who still believe that you can wake up and decide whether you like a particular gender that day, which is the idea of fluidity, but it’s also the idea of choice. I think some people in the community obviously don’t feel like they chose their sexual identity, but they do think that bisexual people can make that choice, which is certainly not the case. I think that is still a misconception.
Q: What erasure do you personally feel from within the LGBTQ+ community?
Alice: I’ve experienced quite a few jokes and probing questions from people within the community for a while, although this has got better since I’ve got older so it does feel like it is changing a bit. It can seem like other people in the community don’t think I belong in certain spaces or in certain conversations. This is quite frustrating as I know they wouldn’t want their own identity to be questioned.
Maisie: My understanding of being bisexual has evolved over time. I feel like I’m catching up to people who perhaps knew of their sexual identity earlier in life. A common question we tend to get is, if you’re attracted to the opposite gender, why not just be straight?
“There are some hurtful jokes made in the community that I think probably have no place within it, and I think a lot of it is aimed at people who identify as bisexual”
There is perhaps an idea of ‘bi-privilege’ – or ‘straight passing’ because we are able to be happy in an opposite-sex relationship as well as a same-sex one. Or maybe there’s more of an idea that we’re not gay enough to just be in a same-sex relationship because we can be happy in both.
There are some hurtful jokes made in the community that I think probably have no place within it, and I think a lot of it is aimed at people who identify as bisexual.
Q: How does this feeling of erasure translate to how you feel within the workplace and your LGBTQ+ networks?
Alice: There can be low-level discrimination from people who don’t understand or have outdated views. Even if they are well-intentioned, some questions can be quite inappropriate. It can feel like you have to explain yourself a lot. Thankfully this has been happening less and less with each workplace I am in, so hopefully that is an indication of things improving.
Maisie: We’re the minority within our LGBTQ+ networks themselves, which also reflects the community on the ‘outside world’, as it were. I am pushing to increase visibility within the office, certainly, even if that means starting within a small team and building up.
Q: There seems to be more of a trend with younger people to move towards pansexuality. How do you see that impacting bi visibility?
Alice: I would struggle to identify as pansexual – even though that is probably closer to my identity – because I think this is even more othered or erased. However, Gen Z are in general more comfortable with different phrases, different words to describe themselves. The word queer is also used quite commonly and quite comfortably now.
Obviously it was a slur originally, and people have reclaimed that word. I know that the older generations, not even much older than us, really, do still struggle with that word because of its connotations. But the younger generations, like Gen Z in particular have already reclaimed it.
And I think other words under the LGBTQ+ umbrella are being more commonly used amongst younger generations, for example in schools, and now their classmates will understand what identifying as pansexual means. I’ve done a few workshops with Diversity Role Models in schools and the students do know what the words mean.
Maisie: Yes, there seems to be much more awareness of different sexual identities in schools and amongst the young today than there was even when I was at school, where I think lesbian and gay was about as far as it went. And that’s not that long ago.
This change in mindset can only be a good thing in the long run. If younger people feel freer to identify more fluidly that’s good.
Q: How does your bisexuality intersect with other parts of your identity, such as your gender, ethnicity, etc?
Alice: There seems to be relatively few spaces for queer women in particular in the UK, even in London, compared to spaces for gay men for example. Also, it can be quite hard being a bisexual woman in queer spaces, as they don’t always feel like welcoming or accepting places. It does feel like this is improving again slowly, and more initiatives and communities are forming.
Q: What has been your experience with finding community as a bisexual person?
Maisie: There have been spaces I have been in and let people know I am bi, then greeted with, what percentage are you attracted to each gender, like it’s a contest or something numerically quantifiable rather than an organic part of my identity. This can make it difficult to fit into a space where it’s dominated by gay or lesbian people.
Alice: More recently I have had really positive experiences, and there can be an instant feeling of community and implicit understanding, when you meet someone who identifies in the same way.
Q: Have you had any issues with biphobia or bi-erasure at work?
Maisie: I don’t think I have particularly. Because of my appearance, I think people just assume straight away that I’m straight. So, it’s more being in a position where you have to assert your bisexuality because people tend to assume straightness, especially if you’re in a straight presenting relationship.
Having worked in insurance for quite a few years, this isn’t as much something where people actively discriminate individually. I haven’t seen any specific bi-discrimination. But the there also aren’t as many of us even within the community. So even when we go to LGBTQ-focused events there’s not much bi-representation there. Although, to be fair, this could just be a reflection of the insurance market.
Alice: I’ve also worked across both the insurance and legal sectors. And I think every job that I’ve had, every company that I’ve worked for has got better. Maybe because the companies are becoming more inclusive and their diversity initiatives are improving year on year. I’ve also become more confident over the years. I’m more likely to stand up to the jokes and “banter” I used to get more of when I first started working.
It brings the tone down quite quickly when questions are asked that definitely aren’t appropriate in a workplace that I don’t think would be asked of someone who was gay or straight.
Q: Is there anything employers could be doing to be more inclusive?
Maisie: I don’t think it’s anything specifically to do with bisexuality on its own. I think it’s more around understanding, awareness, and support for the LGBTQ+ community and other networks, you know, race networks, gender networks, well-being networks in general.
“Recognising Bisexual Awareness Week and Bi Visibility Day are important, but I think the more that can be done to bring all the strands of diversity together, the better.”
I personally believe that it should be support for every group within a company. I think splitting it out and sectoring it almost creates a bit of othering in itself. It’s not very forward thinking.
Recognising Bisexual Awareness Week and Bi Visibility Day are important, but I think the more that can be done to bring all the strands of diversity together, like bringing all employee resources groups together and that sort of thing, the better. It’s not supposed to be everyone for themselves, and there’s strength in numbers, so I think it’s more around supporting people as a whole.
Q: How do you think allies can better support bisexual people and the struggle for bi visibility?
Maisie: By understanding that bisexuality is an attraction to more than one gender. Someone’s identity shouldn’t be assumed just from the relationship they may be in, or how they choose to look. Times like bisexuality awareness week are a great time for people to educate themselves because there’s no better time to access resources on bisexuality.
Alice: For me, people should challenge bi-phobia, jokes and inappropriate questions. They can also engage with employee resource groups or LGBTQ+ networks in the workplace. All the information is there – you just have to look for it and support these initiatives where you can.
Q: And lastly, is there any representation in recent years that has made you notice how far we have come for mainstream visibility?
Alice: “I Kissed a Girl” on the BBC was a really important TV show earlier this year, that did great things for representation and visibility, as it included a cast of queer women who identified as a range of sexualities and gender identities. The contestants had intelligent and honest conversations and it was the first time I had seen this on a reality TV show.
Maisie: Mainstream Queer pop – Chappell Roan, Billie Eilish etc and popular TV representation with Stephanie Beatriz (Brooklyn 99). Seeing authentic bisexual and queer women can help so much to destigmatise and normalise these sexualities and bring it to a human lens. We know the impact of what high-profile celebrities can have on society behaviours and we should recognise the importance of there being such a demand for queer people in these spaces. They both celebrate and affirm people’s identities, which, regardless of age, is always needed.
