“It’s Okay Not to Have All the Answers”
Interview with Stephanie Vukotic, MBA, Director, Brokerage Solutions at RT Specialty, in our latest article on the importance of Lesbian Visibility Week
“It’s not that I’m comparing being a lesbian to having a Snickers bar,” Stephanie says with a laugh. She’s describing how realizing she was a lesbian reminded her of the classic Snickers commercial where the guy only realizes the depth of his hunger once someone hands him a peanut-filled candy bar.
“I didn’t know that I was hungry. I didn’t know that I was lesbian. And then when I realized it—when I did that self-work and reflected—I was like, ‘Oh! This makes sense.’”
We’ve been talking about what the term “lesbian” means to her. Not only because the term is loaded and can carry baggage, but also because every gay woman has their own relationship with it.
“Over time, it became something that I’m really proud of,” Stephanie says. “For me, it represents authenticity and resilience. It’s about being proud of your identity and embracing who you are fully. And then looking externally, it connects me to this big, beautiful community that’s full of strength and joy and power and humor—and grit. I love the word ‘grit’. There’s something super empowering about knowing that you’re part of a lineage of women who have lived boldly always and were discouraged never, even when things were hard.”
“Our stories deserve to be told too”
Is this why lesbian visibility matters to her? As a way to recognize that grit?
“It’s about recognition, understanding, and connection,” she says. “Even today, April of 2025, lesbian identities can be overlooked, misunderstood, or painted in inaccurate lights. So I think visibility reminds us that our stories deserve to be told too—not only during this week or Pride Month, but all year round.”
Stephanie recalls her own lightbulb moment as a younger woman, noting how “it’s hard to be what you can’t see”. For her, Lesbian Visibility Week—and visibility more broadly—means being seen not just as individuals, but as “lawyers, partners, doctors, creatives, professionals, and everything in between. We exist in every space. We’re here, and we can be anyone and do everything.”
This visibility matters for many reasons, Stephanie believes, but she highlights one in particular: Whether a person’s identity helps or hinders them at work can depend not only on external factors, but how they embrace it themselves.
“Being out has allowed me to bring my full self to work”
“For me, being out has allowed me to bring my full self to work, which I think is important for both personal growth and team dynamics,” Stephanie says. “If I’m showing up authentically, it encourages others to do the same. At RT specifically, I’ve had really awesome support from colleagues and leaders, which has made all the difference.”
Stephanie has nothing but praise for her colleagues and leaders at RT Specialty. “I’ve been fortunate to work with incredible leaders who believe in me. They challenge me, definitely—but they also help me grow.”
What does that support look like in practice?
One example stands out: “About two years ago, our team reshuffled, and I had a new leader come in from outside the company. In our first meeting, I introduced myself—how long I’d been there, the kinds of projects that I typically tackle, showed pictures of my dog, and mentioned my then-fiancée (now wife) by name. Just a normal intro conversation.
“The next time we chatted, she thanked me for being so open and told me that I’d always have her full support. And it wasn’t overbearing or the crux of the conversation—it was just a few simple words of genuine support before we got on to the work. That stuck with me.”
“A difficult line to tread”
So is normalization the end goal that most organizations should aim for when it comes to inclusion in the workplace?
“I’d have to defer to the DEI professionals on the best approach to organizational strategy,” Stephanie says. “I’m so grateful for the team at Ryan [Specialty]—they’re a phenomenal bunch, everybody: Julia (Carson Little), Michael [Blackshear], Carlos [Herrera], the whole DEI team. But from a leadership perspective, I think it’s about finding that sweet spot, which is very difficult to do—showing support and creating space for people to be themselves without being overbearing.”
While Stephanie has seen success by leaning into her authentic self and being confident and open at work, she realizes it can be a difficult line for many managers to tread. The fear of giving offense is real and can get in the way. Here, she thinks all firms can take simple steps that help, such as setting up employee resource groups, having mentorship programs, and ensuring that company policies reflect today’s families—like offering fertility treatments for all flavors of modern couples.
“It’s not just about sponsoring a float at Pride,” she says. “It’s about having the policies to back it up.”
When asked how coworkers can show support as allies, Stephanie references the show Ted Lasso: “Phenomenal show. Love it. But I’m thinking specifically of that iconic darts scene where Ted says, ‘Be curious, not judgmental.’”
It’s simple, she believes, to create a supportive environment: “Just show up with kindness, curiosity, and respect. Make space for open dialogue. Be curious. And know that it’s okay to misspeak, to not know everything—that it’s okay not to have all the answers.”
“We are stronger when we uplift one another”
Speaking of having all the answers, given the current climate—especially with some elected officials with a very strong set of ideals against DEI—how does Stephanie think the LGBTQ+ community should respond? What positive signs of continuing progress does she see?
“I’m a big believer in strength in numbers, and that solidarity is everything within the LGBTQ+ community. Yes, we have our unique experiences, and we have our sometimes-differing perspectives, but we are stronger when we uplift one another, because ultimately, we’re navigating very similar waters. This is one community.”
It’s easy to feel discouraged when progress isn’t linear and suffers obvious setbacks, Stephanie acknowledges. “The conversations obviously are tougher right now, and sometimes that can be demoralizing, but that also means that they’re necessary. If this was an ideal, utopic world and those conversations were easy breezy, then we wouldn’t need to have them.”
“Being lesbian has helped so much to shape how I view the world”
Still, she sees progress and reasons for hope. More visibility. More community. More commitment. She points to the strong DEI work happening at RT Specialty: the new Multicultural Alliance, Pride panels, and the monthly reminders from RT’s DEI team about Link’s Chicago Chapter meetups for LGBTQ+ insurance professionals.
Stephanie believes DEI progress will continue—it just might take longer, which is another reason why visibility still matters.
“Being a lesbian is just one part of who I am—but it’s a part that has helped so much to shape how I view the world, and also how I show up in it,” she says.
“Visibility is not about being loud or demanding. It’s about showing that we’re real, that we’re here—and not as a monolith, but as a vibrant and exciting and very present part of the human experience. And that matters.”
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